Pshhh!

well its been a long time since i have written in here, mostly its because i forget its here and partly because the stuff iwant to write about shouldnt be told to anyone. haha. Highschool has been completly different than middle school ever was. everything is really different. Sometimes i feel completly lost. Right now i dont feel lost, but i do feel exposed and confused. i cant really explain that without incriminating myself and 2 other people. only these 2 and me know about it. one other person might but i really hope not, that would be bad. actually its allready bad. one of the, no the stupidest thing i may have ever done. urgh. Oh well im going to stop worrying about it for now because there is nothing i can do about it now. Soooo anyways, this week was our second winter break. I went snowboarding a lot over break. Mostly with Netasha. Yesterday i went with Robin, then later i met up Netasha and Jesse, and we all went up on the hill then Jessse left to go somewhere else. Me and Netasha went on a couple runs then left. Jesse met up with us on the gondola. We hung out for maybe an hour? after that then we all went home or where ever. Netasha came over to my house and we painted my room. which was kinda fun. lol. Jeez i wrote a lot today. i filled up5 1/2 pages in a notebook. mostly about that bad thing i talked about earlier. i feel terrible about the whole situation... blehhh. today i havent really done anything but sit here on the computer and write. I've also beeen thinkin a lot today. About a lot of stuff that has happened in the last year... and recently. sometimes i wonder about why things happen. and sometimes i wonder why i dont take action like i should, i mean really? there are sooo many things that i could have made happen or that i could have stopped. I been in a really depresssed mood today, but for some reason this is the day i talk to people all day, and i had to try not to let anyone see how i was feeling. i need to become more sure of what i want because whenever i cant make up my mind it ruins something and i am just tired of it. I feel like crap todayy. :/ urgh i hate this feeling. i was soooo happy yesterday but last night changed that. completly. its just not worth it. i dont know if i ever want to talk to a certain someone ever again. everytime i do it causes some kind of drama or problem. not always right away but eventually they do. i hate it. i dont hate them, yet. but that could always chage so im just done with them. maybe then i will feel better. i hope so at least. soo todayy my mom finally got me some picture frames! i've been wanting some for a while now. I need some bigger ones though for my posters and stuff. im hoping the frames make it look better in my new room =] well that is all for now Bye Bye